Blog

Erika’s Review

This is a beautiful and realistic little story of a single woman’s life and struggles. Although singles will be able to relate to and find encouragement from this story, as a now-married woman, I also fully enjoyed this book. Contentment struggles definitely aren’t limited to singles, and the lessons Stephanie learned in this story are heart struggles of many.

I loved the atypical plot, the realistic up and downs of Stephanie’s life and heart, and her turning to God – not once, but over and over. This book well portrays a believer’s daily walk with God – contentment requires daily abiding. Professionally told and engagingly narrated, this is a story for women who are seeking God.

Goodreads | Amazon | Signed paperback

While everyone around this table had been busy marrying and having kids, here I was, the oldest of the group, still single. I had kids all right—like fifty I saw each week. But I sent them home after a half hour lesson to pound out piano pieces away from me. It wasn’t the same as raising darlings like these sitting around the table.

Who remembers their late-teen/early-twenty years when there seemed a sudden boom of peers getting married… and then having kids? And wasn’t that such a weird thing? It’s when you and your friends stopped walking in the exact same season of life. Life for a single doesn’t usually change drastically, but once your single friend marries, she now has a husband and, for many of them, children. For so many of us, there is this awkward in-between season as we try to adjust to friends who are on a different path than us.

One of the lessons I’ve had to learn as a single is to appreciate friends who aren’t walking in the exact same season as I. In return, I have been blessed by so many of these friends! But then and again, I’ve also had those awkward moments when I’m stuck in a group of people with whom I really can’t identify. Much of this, I realize, was my fault; but some of it could have been helped by those who married before me. I could make an entire list of negative “please don’t do this to us singles,” but instead, I want to focus on the positive things I have found from my friendships with married people and how they have blessed me personally.

1) They don’t act like they’re on a “higher level” than I am, just because they’re married.

We’re all believers, walking the Christian life together. And we can share wisdom from the different paths we’re walking. They were once single, so they know some of the struggles we singles face. I’m not married, but I’m observant, and I have learned things from talking to older, wiser married couples, and can discuss matters that are relevant to married couples. It can really hurt to be viewed as a single who “doesn’t know anything about marriage” just because I haven’t experienced it (and likewise, I can also hurt married couples by pretending they “don’t know anything about being single” because they didn’t have to wait as long as I did). So a mutual respect between singles and married couples is a huge blessing.

2) They are interested in my life.

As a single, it can be difficult to only talk about marriage and raising kids (sometimes emotionally, but also because I can’t identify as closely with those subjects). So when a married couple discusses things that apply to my life and not just theirs, it means a lot to me. At the same time, I have also learned to talk about subjects that don’t apply to me—such as raising children (I kind of had that one easy, as I’m fifth of twelve children)—and how important it is to listen even if I have no clue what to say about a wife whose husband is going through a drastic job change.

3) They aren’t always matching me up.

Okay, okay, I had to add this one. My married siblings and friends totally tease about finding a guy for me or setting me up on a blind date, but I know they’re doing it in fun. Ultimately, they encourage me to stay content and wait on the Lord’s timing.

4) They aren’t afraid to live honestly.

I have observed two kinds of Christian couples: those who gush about how wonderful married life is and pretend that trials never happen, and those who are realistic in portraying that marriage is hard work and they don’t always get along with their spouse. Now, I realize there is a very fine line between living transparently and then women gossiping about and slandering their husbands. I do not condone the latter, but I have been very blessed by the couples who have been open about marriage not being perfect. Because of that, I feel that I have very realistic expectations of marriage—and yes, sometimes it helps me to appreciate the singleness season in which God has me. I know second-hand just how hard marriage can be and it isn’t something I want to just jump into without God leading me there!

5) We journey through life together.

There isn’t anything wrong with having a “singles only” game night or a “married couples” get-together… unless you never merge the two. I mean, take it from a single gal: married couples like to have just as much fun as us singles and just because they’re married doesn’t mean they’ve grown out of loving a good round of Taboo or Scattegories (refer back to point one, where I mentioned I’m observant ;)). I’m going to be openly honest and admit that some of the get-togethers I’ve been at would have been very dull if only singles had been invited. So, if you’re in a group that separates the two, totally merge them together!

I would love to hear thoughts from other married or single women—how have you been blessed by having a friend in a different season of life than you? What would you say to the single? What would you say to the married woman?